Are you crushing your guy’s ego?

man egoHave you ever insisted on giving your guy the extra pair of helping hands to get a job done?

Well…insist no longer.  According to Psychology and Aging, offering a helping hand to a man who thrives in his independence belongs on your next “Not To Do” list.

If you’re with an independent man, be sure that he really wants your help before offering him a helping hand.

Help your man on a project that he actually wants to do on his own and watch his self-esteem go down the tubes. Bottom line: he wants to complete his project with his own two hands…and prove to you, himself, and the world that he still has the magic touch.  And if, by chance, you do happen to insist and follow through with your helpful plans, he may feel you’re second-guessing his skills.  Your good intentions will jab at his pride, and before you can say, “you’re welcome,” the both of you may find yourselves in a spat.

So, the next time your Mr. Independent has plans to do what guys do on a Saturday afternoon, leave him where he is, pack yourself a snack, and enjoy your afternoon off to run your own errands.

Who knows when you’ll get another chance like this!


  • Gender Moderates the Effects of Independence and Dependence Desires During the Social Support Process. Nagumey, Alexander J.; Reich, John W.; Newsom, Jason. Psychology & Aging. 19(1), Mar 2004, 215-218.

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